Failed update to my profile on Poemhunter!

This is an unusual blog post.  Basically, I was trying to update my Poemhunter introduction/biography section.  Poemhunter was in a "bad mood", following my taking three or four attempts to remember my password!  Anyway, I don't think that my updated information was saved in the end, but on this occasion, I had actually had the sense to do a "copy/paste".  I couldn't face another attempt at updating Poemhunter right now, and I don't know if I will get around to it at all.  Sometimes that's how it goes.  You lose the moment, as it were.  However, I felt inspired to include my "attempted new introduction" here, as a blog post.  So here it is:


I have an intense passion for poetry - both the reading and writing of poems!

Most of my recent poems are very personal, but not all of my poems have been autobiographical - notably when I first started writing poems, having previously been more interested in fiction writing.

I would describe myself as a survivor poet, and am proud to identify with the survivors' poetry movement. I write mainly about emotions, and my style has definitely been influenced by my recent interest in emo poetry.

I have also written spiritual poetry, which is another important aspect of my work for me.

I love traditional forms, such as the sonnet and kyrielle, but I have been writing mainly free verse lately. It goes in phases. I love both rhyme and free verse, and haiku/senryu. I just love poetry, basically! Which takes me back to the first sentence of this introduction.

Behind the words

I have been reading some of my early poems - currently looking through my poetry collection, "Paula Tree" (published in 2003). And I am deciding which ones to share again, and which to hold back. With many poems, I know immediately that I want to share them, or that I don't. But the case is not always so clear.

The following poem is hard-hitting, especially the ending: "...She patienty awaits his death,/and psychotherapy". It isn't exactly light verse!

The poem has personal meaning for me. I suppose that I have been in a few "not so great" relationships myself, but it wasn't about me. It was in part about a situation involving a friend of mine, an old school friend, with whom I have since lost touch. That was the initial motivation to write the poem anyway, but I feel that probably I was expressing my feelings more generally about women who are caught up in abusive relationships - although there is no reason why it would not be equally applicable to men who are in abusive relationships. I remember having a conversation with my friend, on her decision to go back to her fiance (later, husband), after he had hit her. She told me that her eldest sister was also regularly being hit by her long-term partner, and that this sister had said that she hit her boyfriend back sometimes. She advised my friend that she could do the same. Very nice in theory, but the strength of a man, as opposed to that of a woman - not to mention the fact that this friend had a serious physical disability...Sorry, but that just wasn't, and isn't, good enough for me! Why fight violence with more violence, anyway? That's just wrong, and bad advice!

I don't normally discuss why I wrote particular poems, or what I meant by them, as I feel that, in general, poems should "speak for themselves". Also, the reader will always have his or her own interpretation, and I tend to prefer to allow such interpretations to develop naturally. I just felt that, on this occasion, I needed to say something, by way on explanation, about the meaning, and intentions, behind my words.

One more thought. I have always remembered Madonna saying that the song "Till Death Us Do Part" (from her "Like a Prayer" album) was mostly autobiographical - about her marriage to Sean Penn - but that the song wasn't entirely about her, as she was writing about someone who felt permanently trapped in a violent marriage. And ultimately, she didn't feel that way, and had had the strength to leave. I always feel that people are confused by the fact that, as a creative writer, you might want to write about a situation that is almost the same as the one that you are in, or have been in, but with a twist. I am talking about imagining that one key factor, or several, were different. I did this a lot in my early poetry, and it often led to my work, and ultimately myself, being fundamentally misunderstood. My earlier blog post ("Poetry: fact or fiction?") deals with some of these issues, but only really scratches the surface of what I was trying to express.

The poem:

Black and Blue and Purple

He beat her until black and blue and

purple, so she left him, and then

faithfully scurried

back for more. She can hit back

if she likes, she argues. Well, she

can, but he just laughs aloud. I

watch her retreating

gratefully, respectfully, into his

luke-warm embrace, her shelter from

oblivion or

liberation, or

proper happiness. She patiently awaits his death,

and psychotherapy.

Poetry: fact or fiction?

This is a subject which has come up for me before, and I recently discussed this with a friend on Facebook. I felt that it deserved more attention, in the form of a blog post.

We all understand that novels contain fictional characters and events, but yet may contain many autobiographical elements. Why do so many people find it difficult to appreciate that fictional characters can also be used in poetry? I do write mainly autobiographical poems, increasingly so - and these are gradually becoming more personal/confessional, as I find it impossible to "hold back" - but I still write what I call "character poems". They do not have to be about me, or someone else I know, or a celebrity or historical figure. This doesn't make the poems "less real", as the emotions, and aspects of the characters - as in prose fiction - will often be very real. It is a different approach to writing, and an alternative way in which to explore various issues, emotions, and questions. Poetry is full of metaphors. Why not the occasional fictional, or even semi-fictional - or semi-autobiographical/semi-biographical - character? I wouldn't write only in rhyme or only in free verse. I am inspired by using a variety of poetic styles and techniques. I have also written prose fiction in the past. In fact, originally I wrote stories, and wasn't particularly interested in poetry, which perhaps goes some way to explaining why it would feel so natural for me to create fictional characters. Why wouldn't such characters find their way into my poetry from time to time?

I can only say that I try to ensure that all of my writing is authentic, but sometimes I can and do use "poetic licence" in order to achieve this. Truth is not merely factual. Truth is something much deeper, and more fascinating.

Next question: Does the reader need to know which of my own, or anyone else's, poems are based upon fact, and which contain fictional elements? Doesn't knowing exactly what a writer is talking about actually shatter the illusion on occasions? Taking music as an example - have you ever been disappointed to discover that those lyrics, to which you related on a particularly deep level, were about a completely different subject to the you had assumed? Possibly something quite mundane. Sometimes writers don't even know what they mean by a particular phrase, but it just comes to them, and they can't explain why or where from. Sometimes we start out thinking that we are writing about one subject, but feel, on reviewing our own work, that we have actually written about something completely different. Do we need to explain all of this for each poem? Does it help to do so, or does it destroy some of the magic? There is a whole creative process at work when we are writing poetry. Although I don't deny that it is sometimes interesting to know what inspired someone to write a particular piece, I still believe that poems should "speak for themselves" most of the time.