Attachment

I don't feel that this is going to be a full-length blog post, but it needs to be a blog post, rather than a Facebook status update, or a Tweet. It's just a question, really:

Is it possible to genuinely care about people without becoming "attached"? I realise that health and social care professionals have boundaries and conflicts, but I'm not talking about professional caring. I just sometimes feel that I need to distance myself from everyone I know or meet, but then there is a conflict because I naturally care about people, and I can't switch off my feelings. And I'm not sure that I want to - but I can't handle being hurt and misunderstood, and I have such overwhelming fears of rejection and abandonment. Ironically, such fears seem to come true all the more, as I start to worry more about them, and gradually become obsessed by them. All I want is to be able to genuinely help and support the people for whom I care. If I am not really doing that, what is the point?

I just wish that Stacey was here. I miss her so much. And I wish that I had talked to her more about what she meant about not letting people "get too close", in case they "got inside her mind".

I have actually written slightly more than I had originally anticipated - so I obviously made the right decision, in opting to make this into a blog post. That said, whether I should be saying this at all - well, that is another issue - but I can't seem to hold back, even though I know that I will later panic about having posted this on my blog...